About self-confidence

How to Gain Confidence and Self Esteem

Max. D Gray
By Max. D Gray. Updated: June 5, 2018
How to Gain Confidence and Self Esteem
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Gaining confidence in yourself is essential to developing the self-esteem you deserve. Confidence gives you certainty, which will help you achieve your goals. But the lack of it, however, will make you feel upset and trapped in life. Do not underestimate your ability to do things well and trust yourself and your potential. From OneHowTo.com we present these tips on how to gain confidence and self esteem.

You may also be interested in: How to Help a Person With Low Self-Esteem

Steps to follow:


Forget your negative thoughts and concentrate on what you want and need to achieve. Think about the best things about yourself, there are certainly a lot. When in doubt, ask people close to you and you will be surprised at what they say.


Believe in yourself. You are your thoughts. So believe in yourself and your potential. If you do, others will too. To gain respect, respect yourself first. If you have problems with your self-esteem, you might also want to read our article on how to boost your self-esteem.

How to Gain Confidence and Self Esteem - Step 2

Stop comparing yourself. Comparing yourself to others is a big mistake. Everyone is different and has different assets. The secret is to enjoy whatever it is that you have. If someone is very wealthy but doesn't know how to enjoy it, it won't do them any good and a person who does not have much but is happy with what they have will be much richer than the wealthy one. Think of life as a ladder where you're on a step and will continue to rise. On that ladder there will always be people ahead of you, but think of all those who are behind you trying to climb the rungs.

How to Gain Confidence and Self Esteem - Step 3

To trust yourself you need to learn to say no. Saying yes when you actually want to say no is an attack on your self-confidence because then you'll have feelings of guilt and lack of certainty. Learn to say no assertively, you will see that it is not so bad. Remember that saying no is not selfish.


Be thankful for those who deserve a "thank you" every day. Do you like to be thanked when you do things for others? Probably, because everyone does. You will see that gratitude will be returned to you almost without you noticing.


Think of all the good things that could happen and forget about, "What if I don't do well"? Because the response to question is: And what if I do well? I deserve to try!


Try to go a day acting like you have total confidence in yourself. How would you act? What would try to achieve? How you would dress? How would you talk? What would you think? Act according to this for a day and if you like it, why change it? Keep doing it! You'll see how slowly you'll stop having to act and confidence will become a part of you.

Making yourself look good on the outside and living in a clean and tidy environment will also help you feel better and give you the strength you need to reach your goals.

How to Gain Confidence and Self Esteem - Step 7

Seize the day. Don't ever let opportunities get away because they'll be gone for good. It's like travelling by train, if you do not catch it, you miss the train and it will never return. To get what you want, you need to act. Sitting around won't get you anywhere and opportunities won't be knocking at your door.


Do not worry if you're wrong, because we learn from mistakes. What's more, mistakes are the best way to learn in life. Never again get frustrated about doing something wrong, be thankful for it and learn for yourself how to handle things and do better next time.


Good friends are your best allies. Move away from people or situations that make you feel bad, inferior or insecure.

Make sure you trust the friends you have and don't be afraid to lean on them if you are down. Engage in activities you like doing with them and cherish their company as one of the most positive aspects of life.

How to Gain Confidence and Self Esteem - Step 10

Smile at life. Smiling is the best weapon to have confidence in yourself. Why? Because a real smile will give you strength to fight whatever is coming and, more importantly, to get what you want. Smiling at life is your energy.

How to Gain Confidence and Self Esteem - Step 11

It is important to gain confidence and self-esteem in order to avoid this to turn into a mental disorder such as depression.

If you find that your lack of confidence interferes with your daily life and of those around you, you should consult a professional psychologist.

This article is merely informative, oneHOWTO does not have the authority to prescribe any medical treatments or create a diagnosis. We invite you to visit your doctor if you have any type of condition or pain.

If you want to read similar articles to How to Gain Confidence and Self Esteem, we recommend you visit our Mental health category.

Write a comment
What did you think of this article?
pradeep kumar suman
not deal with public and stammering problem ,please guide me
OneHowTo Editor
Hi Pradeep,

Follow the steps in the article. We hope they will help you gain self confidence. All the best!
Jada Mane
I have confidence,sometimes I get high self esteem while sometimes I get low self esteem.I just find myself acting like I don't know anything and I feel like am being rained on because of my complex background.I feel am a miss fit in the society,please advise me on what to do in order to maintain myself healthy from depression.
OneHowTo Editor
Follow the steps mentioned in this article, these will keep you well away from depression. Moreover, for those moments when you feel you're falling into depression, follow the advice from the following article:http://health.onehowto.com/article/how-to-beat-depression-naturally-1535.html
Hope this helps
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How to Gain Confidence and Self Esteem