Personality disorder

How to Deal With Someone Who Has Borderline Personality Disorder

Max. D Gray
By Max. D Gray. Updated: January 16, 2017
How to Deal With Someone Who Has Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a serious medical condition which causes the sufferer to be impulsive and unstable, and have difficulty with interpersonal relationships. As well as the person with the disorder, BPD can have serious implications for relatives or partners of the person with Borderline Personality Disorder.

About 2% of the population suffer from personality disorders being with women suffering the most. These conditions are more common among people whose relatives also suffer from a similiar condition (antisocial disorders, depressive disorders, alcohol or drug dependencies) or in children who have suffered abuse, maltreatment, who have lost their parents, who have had a negligent education and children with emotional instability or unpredictable behavior.

But how can we help the sufferer? At OneHowTo, we would like to start with some tips on how to help a person suffering from a borderline personality disorder so that you can support your loved one and improve your relationship with them.

Steps to follow:


Find information about borderline personality disorder. Do thorough research from reputable sources to understand what BPD actually is, and how BPD affects those who suffer from it. To help with a problem, we must first fully understand the nature of the problem.


Help them receive a diagnosis for Borderline Personality Disorder and seek appropriate treatment if they have not yet seen a specialist. Accompany them and help them with this as much as you are able, and as much as they allow you.


As well as finding support for the person with BPD, you should also discuss your own experiences and feelings with a specialist so that you do not feel isolated.


Offer them emotional support. It is important to be understanding and patient. Be empathetic with them because, although they must learn to behave better and they can improve, sometimes it is very hard to change one's behavior. Dont forget that the person who suffers the most is the person with the BPD.


Include them in some of your plans to show them that you are thinking about them and value their company. Try to be sensitive and empathetic about their doubts and fears of abandonment, and above all try to avoid hurting their feelings.


Do not tolerate lies, blackmail or other abusive treatment by the person with a BPD, as this will certainly not help you and will not help them either.


When there is a crisis, do not take things personally. Remember that they are not acting like this because they have decided to do so, most of the time they can not help their behavior.

How to Deal With Someone Who Has Borderline Personality Disorder - Step 7

Do not be overprotective of the person with BPD. They must have the opportunity to make mistakes and learn from them.


If ever the person suffering from BPD becomes obsessed with the past, attempt to divert their attention to the present. Try to encourage them to live in the "here and now", as this helps anbody who suffers from excessive anxiety.


Always remember that a person with BPD is suffering from a serious condition which is very difficult to cope with. Being emotionally unstable can become very overwhelming, and basically all they will want is to improve in order to stop suffering. Make them understand that you are on their side to and there to support them, and help them improve and overcome Borderline Personality Disorder.

How to Deal With Someone Who Has Borderline Personality Disorder - Step 10

If you thinkit would help, go to support groups for BPD sufferers and relatives. Interacting with people going through the same thing can help broaden your perspective and see things differently.

This article is merely informative, oneHOWTO does not have the authority to prescribe any medical treatments or create a diagnosis. We invite you to visit your doctor if you have any type of condition or pain.

If you want to read similar articles to How to Deal With Someone Who Has Borderline Personality Disorder, we recommend you visit our Mental health category.

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1 comment
Shelby I.
My bf of 7 years shows all the signs listed for BPD but he doesn't want to hear anything about it and becomes very angry when I talk about making him a doctors appointment. How can I help him if he doesn't think he needs help?
OneHowTo Editor
Hi Shelby
This is a tough situation, as it can be difficult to help someone who won´t help themselves. Is there a family member of his you could possibly speak to?
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How to Deal With Someone Who Has Borderline Personality Disorder