Emotional wellness

How to Keep Calm when you're Angry

Rebecca Doughty
By Rebecca Doughty . Updated: March 7, 2019
How to Keep Calm when you're Angry

Anger is an emotion that everyone feels, but some people struggle with their tempers more than others. Whilst it is completely natural to sometimes feel angry, there are occasions when losing your temper isn't advisable! Often, we will know if something is making us angry, it can start with a minor sense of irritability and frustration, or it can feel like full blown rage straight away. Either way, it is helpful to know some tips to keep yourself feeling calm and composed. It is also better for our bodies and mind to be able to deal with the feelings of anger in a healthy way. So in this OneHowTo article, we're going to give some advice on how to keep calm when you're angry, and none of them include punching a pillow (although feel free to try it).

You may also be interested in: How to Control Your Temper - Best Tips
  1. Breathe
  2. Excuse yourself
  3. Address your feelings directly
  4. Write it down
  5. Talk it out


This might sound like an obvious piece of advice to give, but it actually makes perfect sense. Anger triggers several reactions in the body, a rush of adrenaline (not the good kind), increased heart rate, and heavy, rapid breathing. It's hard to think straight when you're experiencing these sensations and you're much more likely to say or do something you might regret. So taking a minute to breath will help to control and calm your body down.

A very popular way to relieve and and stress is to find peace through meditation. Meditation focuses on breathing and mindfulness and is a very positive and healthy way to stabilize your body and mind.

How to Keep Calm when you're Angry - Breathe

Excuse yourself

If you're in a position to do this, then remove yourself from the situation that appears to have caused the anger. If something has said or done something to trigger your angry feelings, you can take a minute to calm down and reflect before you respond. This is particularly helpful if you're in a work situation or around your family or friends. It will prevent you from reacting on impulse and anger - a bad combination. Getting some fresh air can really help when it comes to calming yourself down too.

How to Keep Calm when you're Angry - Excuse yourself

Address your feelings directly

It's very easy to shrug your shoulders and move on once you feel like you are starting to calm down from the feelings of anger. But it's much better for your mind, and any recurring feelings you may have, to truly think about what triggered your anger, and, if possible, how you can avoid or deal with these feelings in the future.

What was it that made you feel so threatened or hostile towards that person/situation? In some cases it can be a deeper or more personal situation that is causing the anger, and you are taking these feelings out on something much more minor. Take a minute to think and assess.

Write it down

If you're in a situation that enables you to do this, writing down your emotions can really help to diffuse feelings of anger. Let all your anger and stress flow out on to the paper, it can help in the same way as deflating a balloon. Rip up the paper if it makes you feel better too!

Writing also helps you to deal with the problem in hand. If you're having a problem with a partner or colleague at work, write down what it is that is getting you irate. Seeing the issues down on paper can help you find a solution. Visually seeing a problem out there and not just whirling around your head can make a huge difference when it comes to assessing your emotions.

How to Keep Calm when you're Angry - Write it down

Talk it out

If you're struggling with feelings of anger, it can sometimes help to talk to somebody you can trust, maybe a close personal friend or your partner. Once you've calmed down, consider getting the perspective of somebody on the outside, but be prepared for them to not necessarily say what you want to hear. It can be easy for us to want to hear that we are right when it comes to the reasons we get angry, but it's more helpful to acknowledge the times when we may have been wrong, accept them and learn from them.You can remember these times in the future if you feel yourself experiencing anger.

Dealing with these emotions appropriately works towards helping yourself in the long term when it comes to managing your anger and keeping calm.

Take a look at our tips to control anger for more advice!

This article is merely informative, oneHOWTO does not have the authority to prescribe any medical treatments or create a diagnosis. We invite you to visit your doctor if you have any type of condition or pain.

If you want to read similar articles to How to Keep Calm when you're Angry, we recommend you visit our Mental health category.

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How to Keep Calm when you're Angry