How to Increase Emotional Intelligence

By Max. D Gray. Updated: January 16, 2017
How to Increase Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize and take other people's feelings into account and manage them properly. According to the book 'Emotional Intelligence' by Daniel Goleman, a lack of emotional intelligence development explains why very intelligent people often fail, while others progress. So here's how to increase emotional intelligence.

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Steps to follow:

Self-knowledge. This involves identifying your feelings, desires and fears. Knowing yourself is the key to developing emotional intelligence. If we are not aware of our emotions, we cannot express them or communicate them. Ask yourself what relationship you have with your emotions? Are they accompanied by physical feelings?


Self-control. In order to manage your emotions, you need to know them. Make a list of your strengths and your weaknesses. It is important to reinforce the positive and work on the negative points of your own character. Look on the bright side of negative feelings and start from there to increase your emotional intelligence.

It's also important to accept a 'no' as an answer and learn that things will not always go your way. This will make it easier for you to handle situations of rejection.

How to Increase Emotional Intelligence - Step 2

Managing stress. Stress often overcomes your ability to see things clearly. Therefore, it is important to try to calm yourself down so that you can manage it. First, you need to identify it, then detect what your response is to it and think about how you can modify this response positively. This way you will be able to react in a different way when you face these situations in the future.

Make sure you have space for distraction when you are under a lot of pressure by practicing exercise or a hobby you enjoy, this will clear your mind and help you find a new approach to the situation.

How to Increase Emotional Intelligence - Step 3

Communication. Assertive communication is a cornerstone of emotional intelligence. This not only refers to what you say but what you do not say, i.e. nonverbal communication. To convey trust in others you must work on what you convey in your gestures, expressions and words.

How to Increase Emotional Intelligence - Step 4

Empathy. This means recognizing and accepting others' feelings as well as learning how to react to them effectively. Always try to live through the other person's skin and think how it would feel to be that person in that particular situation. Empathy generates positive effects in others which then come back to us.

How to Increase Emotional Intelligence - Step 5

Conflict resolution. The best way of resolving conflicts is to identify them and reflect on them. If you use the above knowledge, you can face them in a positive way and learn from them. It's also important not to act quickly, as you might regret your actions, so make sure you find the right solution for each problem.

This article is merely informative, oneHOWTO does not have the authority to prescribe any medical treatments or create a diagnosis. We invite you to visit your doctor if you have any type of condition or pain.

If you want to read similar articles to How to Increase Emotional Intelligence, we recommend you visit our Mental health category.

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