A growing trend shows that younger people are increasingly spending more time living at home. Despite this, it is still common for many young people to strike out on their own. Whether buying their own house or becoming renters, this is a process which is fraught with difficulty. There are all the practical considerations required for moving, something which can be stressful enough in and of itself. Too many of use negate the emotional toll, something which can have negative repercussions.
While those moving out need to consider these changes, it is also something which can greatly impact those who remain at home. It can lead to a phenomenon known as empty nest syndrome, a feeling of loneliness or depression which can occur when offspring leave the home. Learn more as oneHOWTO explains how to overcome empty nest syndrome.
What is empty nest syndrome?
A good parent cares for their children, being mindful of every aspect of their development. This begins from feeding babies and carries on through education and navigating those often tricky teenage years. Even when it is stressful, it is still a family. This means there is a strong bond which is built up over time. When the children grow up and decide to move on, this bond isn't broken, but the nature of the relationship changes in practical ways.
It is often an ambivalent time. Often there may be feelings of joy or even a certain amount of relief when they leave. You have done your job and the kids are now starting their own lives. You wish them all the blessings they could have and are excited to see what they make of themselves. It is also a time when their childhood is over. They do not need you as much as they did and you miss looking after the people you loved so much.
During this feeling of ambivalence, you may enter a period of empty nest syndrome. This is usually a completely normal and transitory period during which you come to terms with a new stage in the lives of your children and your own. For some people, it can be protracted and lead to complications over time.
Empty nest syndrome is defined as a situation manifested by painful feelings, profound loss and a sense of emptiness. It can lead to a person to feel deep and painful nostalgia, as if their lives have no meaning without their children. It acute cases, it can even trigger illnesses in parents, such as depression. It is not a clinical diagnosis, but it is something which can exacerbate preexisting clinical depression.
Symptoms of empty nest syndrome
Each parent may cope very differently with the new situation brought on by the children leaving home. Missing one's children and feeling like the house is too quiet and empty is logical, but these feelings can end up becoming excessive and pathological. It is natural to have a period of adjustment, during which mild empty nest syndrome may occur. If the situation is protracted, it may lead to mental health complications.
Some symptoms of empty nest syndrome include the following:
- Deep sadness and a feeling of emptiness: when these feelings aren't limited to a moment of nostalgia, but rather mark everyday life. A parent with empty nest syndrome expresses their emotions with attitudes of total discouragement, abandonment and apathy toward life itself. This can lead to worrying situations. While some may more closely associate empty nest syndrome with mothers, it can affect both parents equally.
- Irritability: arguments with a partner or close family members and sudden mood swings can be other important indicators. Feelings of anger because a child has left or thoughts of being ungrateful are also symptoms worth recognizing and treating.
- Abuse of harmful substances: such as alcohol, stimulants or sleeping pills.
- Anchored in the past: according to experts, the departure of a child can sometimes be compared to a grieving process with its corresponding stages. Failing to overcome these stages, constantly regressing to the past and idealizing it when remembering when the children were young. For example, repeatedly watching videos of family events or constantly bringing up stories of the past in an unhealthy way.
- Frequent crying, anxiety, and unjustified fear: at the thought that something bad might happen to one's children.
Empty nest syndrome is a period of time which can require some significant help to overcome. Learn about a way to celebrate overcoming adversity with our article on what do semicolon tattoos mean?
How to overcome empty nest syndrome
Each person experiences empty nest syndrome differently and certain circumstances can worsen its impact. For example, you should know that empty nest syndrome and menopause are often linked. When the departure of children coincides with a change in the physical body or lifestyle, it can be difficult for some of us to deal with. It can trigger issues around mortality, especially since we are entering a new phase of our lives.
As we have stated, empty nest syndrome is not a clinical diagnosis. However, it can exacerbate or trigger other mental health problems such as depression. Overcoming empty nest syndrome can help to alleviate the symptoms of these mental health issues. They include:
- Acceptance with a positive attitude: your children have left home to start a new life. It is part of the life cycle and can reap wonderful benefits. These include the experiences they have, as well as the positive impacts they can have on the family as a whole.
- Maintaining contact: leaving home doesn't mean the family relationship is broken, even if they move to another country. New technologies make it easy to maintain contact. Meeting up for meals occasionally, visiting the child's new home and being there for help should they need the parents at some point, can help overcome empty nest syndrome.
- Don't obsessively contact: part of acceptance is allowing them to be free and not trying to insinuate yourself in all aspects of their lives. Ensure you maintain healthy contact, but don't pester them or make them feel smothered.
- Enjoy your new freedom: while raising children can be incredibly rewarding, it also limits certain experiences. Now you have the time to explore your own needs and wants. Decide what rewarding experiences you would like to explore and do so with positivity.
- Refreshing your coupledom: now the kids are away, you can bring more focus on your romantic life and enjoy each other's company with greater freedom.
- Accept nostalgia as something natural: it is normal to miss your children. Accept it as something normal and enjoy the beautiful memories without dwelling on them.
- Professional help: as you can see, the consequences of empty nest syndrome can lead to depression or other mental health issues. If you're really struggling to overcome this stage, don't hesitate to seek the psychological help you need.
If you have younger children and do not need to worry about leaving home for a long time, you may want to take a look at our parenting article on how to educate children with toys.
This article is merely informative, oneHOWTO does not have the authority to prescribe any medical treatments or create a diagnosis. We invite you to visit your doctor if you have any type of condition or pain.
If you want to read similar articles to How to Deal With Empty Nest Syndrome, we recommend you visit our Mental health category.